Stagnant ?

(Image of myself taken at @Iwanthy, an AI Photoshoot studio located in Singapore)

If there is anything I would give in the world,

is to give :

" Hope to the children and the ones that lost belief in themself. "

Because I have too, walk the path where darkness loom and self-hatred exist and with that cause an Never-ending loop of self-hurt and bad habits.

It is ofcourse impossible to change one's mindset overnight but a step at a time helps and the quote that really helped me was truly :

" A bad day isn't a bad life."

It is a simple short quote that have so much interpretation to it * and ofcourse it is easier to remember this then a longer quote haha *

A bad day isn't a bad life untill you made it permanent with the constant daily thoughts of it. But if one were to think that each day is a new day, then Changes could happen and with that Miracles happens too.

How do one then instill faith and belief in themself ? 

or rather

How do one then instill the mindset of :

" A bad day isn't a bad life." ?

Life is ever changing, everything comes and go but the ONLY ONE THINGS that will never change is that YOU have the ability to CONTROL what you do. Don't ever let anyone else control OR affect you because they HOLD NOTHING on you, they don't OWN YOU and YOU DONT OWE THEM anything & should anything be bestown to you as control by them it's on their KARMA will there be bestown to them.

So don't stoop to their level or let any outside factor affect you and you do you & will there then be faith and belief in oneself, in YOURSELF .

 

Media, News & Education

Social Media or SNS are addictive because they feed us with information.

Humans are born to Crave Knowledge, wisdom and are naturally curious about many things in life.

Why do we log on to social media ? 

To catch up on the latest gossip news of celebrity world ? 

To get the latest update of the stock market ?

To get the latest hideout / place of interest that you can visit in the near future ?

To kill boredom?

You see, humans are born to be actively searching for a news outlet, an educational outlet, an outlet to let them acquire knowledge . 

No matter Good or Bad, Positive or Negative, Truth or Lies. We, as humans just crave information and knowledge.

Why so ?

I believe it is cause as long as we are alive , our brain in running 24/7 and brain consume knowledge as food and thus we just crave news and knowledge.

I believe with the rapid advancement of technology and the rise of social enterprise, we could definitely and with certainty create informative news to feed the mind of all and improve humanity in the process.

Induce Empathy, Understanding, Kindness and love.

Be The Voice , Unspoken.

 Be the one that Speak Up

The one that Speak of the Unspoken

The one that Turn your Weakness into Strength

Only then can we be strong

Only then can we Defeat

Our own Darkness then

Shine light to others . 

A Love

Told myself I will find a Love one day .

Someone that truly cherish me as much as my Late Mum and my Living Daddy did.

But How could I , If I haven't truly Love myself.

Told myself, I still could;

Find a Love so pure in this complicated wicked world.

But How could I if there is still War & Conflict happening right now ?

Told myself I will if I Have Faith .

And Thus I will find a Love not from others but rather from Myself.

New Year Resolution or should I call it, Pressure.

 In a world of achievement and goals and success and fame.

It is as tho society deem everyone to have a New Year Resolution is necessary. 

Whenever the clock strike Twelve o'clock at the last day of the year. Friends , family and even acquaintance will always ask the first ever same question. 

"What's your new year resolution ?"

and the answers will alwyas varies but similar to the year before and so. 

"Lose weight", "Earn money", "Do this , do that" EVERYTHING is so materialized. 

physical.

Is that what humans are ? after all one day our physical body will detoriate to literally nothing but our mind and knowledge could be pass on to the next generation.

One day , I truly hope for all Humans to live in a world where they exist Happiness , Love and Light and no Greed, no darkness, no hate, no crime.

Maybe not in this generation but i hope in the generations to come, there exist this world.

This world.

Of True Happiness. 

True Love.

True Light.

True, Faith.

Signing off,

Jingru

Having Faith

Recently felt that every single human have some mental health condition and it is Normal. Only the severity of it that differs from person to person. I don't believe any single one that proclaim they are perfectly healthy in their own mind . Everyone have their demon and devil. Just rather they want to let others see or not. Sometime the emotions they bottle up explode, and thus causing them to react in extreme behavior aka behavior that are not like their usual self.

If I were to relate to my past toxic self, I will say its between 2017 - late 2020 . I was on self-destruction mode ( doing anything that will harm myself lol ) and ever thought to make plans to leave any of my fortune to my dad lol. aka i make sure the paper work of the house purchase was done before anything happens to me LOL

But then i thought to myself if i were to self-destruct then it will make those that ever caused harm to me happy that they inflicted that much of emotional and physical pain to me that I will self-destruct. 

That's not fair . I don't owe them my life. I only ever owe my life to my late mother and my father. So instead I turn that hatred and my intense power of self destruct and channel it to a passion that will create a positive impact instead lol. I find that it is very effective because every hatred and hate I get now just powered my energy lol . As in not to do harm , but to do what I'm passionate about.

And If Faith could save me I hope Faith could save all too.

2022 World

Grief and Depression.

It's me again with my first blogpost for the Year of 2022.

Always conflicted when I decided to do a blogpost as usually it's when I met some people who are against my Morales , encounter some unfortunate event or just something bad that happen will I ever blog.

General Public mention that there are Four Main Causes of Depression , PTSD & any other mental health illness of course over a certain period of Prolong duration.

There is Traumatic events , Grief ( Death of loved ones etc ), encountering an event that is against your Morale thus losing hope in Humanity / the world in general.

But I feel that Grief is the most powerful one as It will help to Numb the pain of all the other causes. Personally I have encountered all causes ( Traumas to Death of Loved Ones to Encountering event that is against my Morales ) but I always have the motivation to survive on and believe there is still Hope and Faith in Humanity instead of Greed and Money because of one thing ; Life & Death . 

I feel like Grief is the one thing that can help to Mask any of the pain caused by any other events . Not to sound pessimistic but in any way Grief and Death help me to shine another light in my life and kind of guide me to my calling ? 

Anyways I just felt like telling the World to be Happier and more Giving Rather than being Hypocrite and Greedy.

Signing Off,

Jingru.

Social Media & Life Competition

 Is life a competition with others ? 

No, it isnt

The only competitor is yourself , and the person/entity you should ever compare yourself to is your past self.

You are worth it and are doing well.

Show gratitude to everything you own now, your body, your mind, your living condition, everything.

To be alive is a blessing and you have the control to change anything in your life. You have the freedom and you have the ability.

Please believe in yourself and in what you can achieve.

Please Have Faith and Hope for a brighter future.

To who ever am reading this now, May the times you feel like suffocating and where you see only darkness and no light, may you remember that at anytime that you are not alone and light will be shine to  your life path in the near future and at each moment there is someone on earth and even up in heaven that is hoping that your life will get better and It will.

It will get better .

So don't give up.

Don't ever give up on your life. 

Regards

Jingru Quah. :)

Acceptance

 Acceptance

When I was younger , I was hit with Grief from the lost of my Mum and the series of Traumatic events that followed.

Together with regular trigger of Fear of judgement, I was afraid of being not good enough , not pretty enough, not skinny enough, just not good Enough overall .

Growing up, I was constantly abuse not only mentally but also physically by a family member whom I no longer stay with .

I didn't knew this would cause me to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder later on when I grew up. 

Though out my adolescent, I further faced bullying for my appearance , betrayal from friends whom I thought were trustable and resulted in me having Anorexia & Anxiety when I was just 15. 

As I could no longer handle the tremendous stress but home with a combination of Trauma , I left home to live alone when I was turning 18 and I met friends whom I thought I could trust but they ended up breaking my heart when the trust of mine towards a colleague/friends turned to a physically traumatic event that would haunt my mind forever and that's when I developed an alter ego to help me numb my pain and fight off the negative thoughts I have and also turn to substance abuse as an escape plan.

While juggling school and work at the age of 20, I began to indulge in the world of night life and alcohol and I was just living each day young and reckless with the intent to just die as I felt worthless to the society physically and mentally.

Then covid came and it cleared my mind when I finally decided to seek help from local community after accepting me for whom I am . I decided to no longer be afraid of what I have been through and do what I want the most, to contribute back to society in whatever way I can.

And that is to create a platform to lessen treatment gap and make mental health treatment more assessable.

For years I have been in Denial and the fear of judgment but From now onwards till the Deathbed of mine will I Ever be afraid of anything . Not even Death itself, for if it comes, It comes. We only have one life , so just live it.

To accept your past and trauma is the solution to truly live your life with Hope and Faith.

HFaith

Have Faith

Do you believe in faith and giving life a second chance?

I do .

In late 2017-2018 I was hospitalized for severe iron-deficiency anemia & abnormally high white blood cell count with a weak heart and was on the verge on passing away.

In just a short span of minutes , I couldnt breath as I was drowning in my own cold sweat while running a high fever. Blood test came back with High white blood cell count and a ECG shows result of weak heart that could halt anytime.

I was on drip and have needles stuck in around my hand and arm with medical equipment stuck to my chest and legs to monitor my severe low heart rate and pressure . In that moment , the memory of my whole life flash across like lightning in my Brain.

From when I was born till then.

I thought of the many things I done & hasn't done. Of the things I regret not doing and the things my loved ones have to go through if I had just leave the world at that time.

My life wasn't covered, and leaving the world will cause many burdens to my loved and close ones.

Doctor couldn't find the cause for my internal blood lost as I was bleeding out internally and thus couldn't help with my symptoms eg shortness of breath and weak heart beat as a cause of it.

All my senses was amplified and every breath and heart beat grew loudly with every huff and beat. 

I prayed to God & ask her/him to give me a second chance in living and that I will do whatever I didn't dare to do in the past and live my life as if its the last. And I don't know if my God heard me but I miraculously recovered over the night and my blood cell level recovered , internal bleeding stopped and blood pressure returns to normal.

From then on , I promise myself to do whatever that i wanted in my life and leave a mark in the world while prepping my family with sufficient insurance coverage incase I was gone so in order not to be a burden to them when I'm gone and to set up a charity / non- profit organization that will go on for generations after I've gone.

I'm on path , are you?

#HFaith #HaveFaith