Hall of Frame

Recently I went to do arms LAMS at a liposuction hospital located in Seoul and started to gain more confidence in doing photoshoot that show off my limbs ! haha I used to have very uneven body shape and so was afraid of showing my arms but now I am confident ! 

Just in time for the warm season I guess ! haha

Next Level Jinro Brand Marketing , Seoul Pop Up store 2024 April

South Korea always bring brand marketing to the next level but this pop-up store, oh god ! Its like I'm in an amusement park and transported into a scene right out of a kdrama??? 

If you are in South Korea right now, I recommend this place to you !! HAPPENING FROM NOW TILL MAY 6th only head over to Seong su Station and this pop up store is a few minutes walk away from exit 3 !

Be greeted with the new Jinro mascot at the entrance and enter to the "amusement park" to complete 5 games to get free shots of soju and snack !

📍🇰🇷 : 서울특별시 성동구 연무장길 53

📅 : 2024년 4월5일(금)~ 2024년5월6일(월)

end Of your session with a free photobooth to keep as memory sake !

Arms LAMS at 365 MC Hospital

 

"Live each day as if its your last" was my motto in life ever since I reached the lowest pitfall of my life during my teenager years. So right now, Im just living life to the fullest and where happiness is prority in all decision I make.

( Photos taken Day 2 of LAMS)

Back in August 2023, I did liposuction to lose my lower body fat and its been 7 months and My fat are still gone and my weight is still going down steadily. I love my body every single day and so when I heard about LAMS, I went to do it for my arms and boy can I see a big difference in just a day ~

First runaway in Gangnam, Seoul

So I had a major hair make over last month and attended a runaway event in Seoul and here are some images from the photoshoot and event~

Perspective

Do you believe that once you change your perspective in life, your life changes?

Just a year plus ago , I was living in a very different lifestyle,  a dark place, a time where I lived in neverending toxicity and engage in routine and routine of unhealthy habits consumed with thoughts of just ending my own life and letting my actions take me away from life itself.

But fast forward to now, I am living in a more peaceful environment and striving in ways that I can never imagine and that started when I see life in another different angle, a different perspective.

You see, I used to feel sorry for myself, for all the misfortune that happened to me since I was born, like to passing of my own mother, the abuse that I have sustain during childhood and the neverending series of unfortunate events that follows that lead me into a very very dark place. 

But after I change my perspective and view each life events as a lesson and a blessing instead, my life changed. I started to be grateful for things and categorizing life events as modules learn instead of as things that just happen. This helped me to shift my negative mindset into positive and change my character of victimizing myself to be a learner instead. 

It caused a chain effect thereafter and I see many possibilities lying around. I felt Hope for the first time and started to see a spark of light in the sea of darkness.

For that I am thankful, for all that I have been through in life as it makes me to become Who I am today and am just generally grateful for being alive and upholding whatever I have now.

Along the way of my life journey, I have made some negative decisions and might have hurt some individuals and for that I am willing to apologize as acceptance is a way of moving forward and gratitude is the action that follows.

So Im ending this post with a Sorry and Thank You for whatever life had bought, bring and to happen in the future.

neurosis

Just an hour ago, I came upon a video titled "Why are so Many People Neurotic? – Carl Jung as Therapist" and I have never felt so called out in my opinions of life;

And I got to say, Carl Jung is one of my favourite  psychiatrist and psychoanalyst that have existed in the world and tho he had passed away centuries ago; His legacy and work carry on to influence people of the modern World.

“There are just as many people who become neurotic because they are merely normal, as there are people who are neurotic because they cannot become normal. That it should enter anyone’s head to educate them to normality is a nightmare for the former, because their deepest need is really to be able to lead “abnormal” lives.”  

Carl Jung, Problems of Modern Psychotherapy

 carl jung | Academy of Ideas

How many times do we view certain situations as weird, funny, abnormal and just quirky ? I believe you and me all have that one time where we deem a situation as weird and abnormal. Then who is there to deem what is normality and what is abnomality where each humans are unique in their own way and therefore have their own mindset and perception towards things.

"A neurosis is a psychological disorder defined by persistent and deep levels of anxiety and an overall fear of life. In addition to these cardinal symptoms, a neurotic illness may also include depression, guilt, phobias, obsessions and compulsions, excessive worry and rumination, insomnia, irritability, or anger. Carl Jung suggested that the neurotic’s fear of life was a result of “a disturbed or diminished process of adaptation” (Collected Works Volume 18) and “a morbid development of the whole of a personality” (Collected Works Volume 10). A neurotic, in other words, is an individual who fails to adapt to the demands of life, whose personality is stunted as a result, and whose existence, therefore, becomes a continual struggle with little, to no reprieve. "

-carl jung | Academy of Ideas

That being mention, then who in the world do not have a certain period where neurosis exist; For as long we have a brain and emotion; we will face a rollercoaster ride of emotion in our lifetime and of course periods of Down Downs.

"While a neurosis isn’t necessarily fatal, it slowly but surely saps the vitality out of life. A neurosis destroys our potential, places us in the constricting confines of an ever-shrinking comfort zone, fills us with guilt for a life not lived, wreaks havoc on relationships, inhibits the cultivation of skills, and damages our physical health due to the effects of chronic anxiety and depression on the body. Jung went as far as to call a neurosis “the agony of a human soul in all its vast complexity” (Carl Jung, The State of Psychotherapy Today).  "

-carl jung | Academy of Ideas

Now how many times did you have days where you felt sad, emotionless and where you just want to lock yourself out from the world and be alone in your own little space? Where everything else does not matter except the voices in your head?

And when this situation occur, blockage of reality tend to take place and this will cause further disturbance to our future life;

Thus, accepting our situation and then finding ways to help us get out of the situation is the way to go to get ourself out of the black pit hole and into light ;

Eventually, we will realise that life itself is precious and we are alreadys winners in our life as long as we were born.

From the day we took our first breath, we have actually won in the " Race to the Egg " to be fertilized in our mother's womb and be bought out to the world sucessfully.

I hope whoever that read this know that you are loved and are bought to this world for a reason and hope you live your life to the fullest and be who you are;

But first you have to accept what you have been through and turn experiences into knowledge and motivation to keep on moving in your life.

Regards

Jingruus

Delusional, a word that have been lingering in my mind since forever;

 Delusions; what is that ?

Reality; what is it ?

I love life now, truly but is this life that I love, a Reality or is it just a Delusion ?

I realised our mind is indeed so powerful , a change of perceptions in life could change your physics attribute and your lifestyle totally.

Dream; sometime I frequently mixed up with reality ; TBH, 50% of the time my reality felt like a dream and vice versa, so at times I really don't know am I really living ? OR am I just dreaming ?

I mean , to type out all this words and thoughts right now into my "blog" , is this real ? OR am I dreaming ?

Life is a mystery, so much so like the wonders and infinite questionnaires humans have towards the Universe. Many times I question the current moment too ;

Because dreams felt so much reality and reality felt so much like dream. 

ofcourse , the sayings goes, if you wanna check if you are dreaming or not , pinch yourself right ?

I do that often ; but then I will think of the power of our mind and it's effect on pain ; Perhaps when we pinch ourself in our "Dream" , we will feel pain too bcus we know that's the consequence of pinching ourself and that trigger the pain sensor in our nerves with the help of the signals produced our Brain . hahaha

Well; I love blogging my thoughts because the longer the thoughts stay in my mind ; the heavier my brain get and the darker it will cloud my mind ;

till then ;

Jingruus

Sometimes

A moment of lost is felt, I will dwell back into my dark thoughts where my demons hide and sun never rises;

I will think of the small little things that I have taken for granted but is a blessing in reality; the ability to see, to breath, to taste, to type, to just be alive, itself is a blessings that I am thankful of.

An eternity is not possible but for awhile im glad.

For as long as I'm awake ; I will live life to the fullest and embrace whatever that comes along ;

Sound of the breath;

Sound :
something that you can hear or that can be heard;

-SOUND | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary

Breath :

the air that goes into and out of your lungs;

-BREATH | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary

those are the textbook definition for "Sound" and "Breath"

but for me those two things represent something much more significant; it represent life itself. 

With every breath I take, I feel the world thru the oxygen I breath in. With every soundwave that hit my eardrum, I felt the vibrance of the world. This two sensory sensation makes me feel alive but in contradictory, these are the two sensory that disturbed me the most in moments when I under the weather.

At times, when the weight of the whole world is on my shoulder, any single specks of sound that tremble my eardrum is a nuisance to me and every breath I breath in suffocates me instead of providing me with the oxygen I need in my lung. 

But so how could the things that makes me feel most alive be the thing that makes me feel most of unliving myself ; till now am I still searching for a reason to it but to tell you the truth, will there ever be a reason to it ? 

You see, I have certain beliefs and perceptions in life. & One of them being that reasons are just excuses and are just something that humans will come up with to make themself feel better. I mean, come on, is there a reason that humans exist in the world ? I don't think so ; 

So will I ever find a reason to my previous queries ? maybe some enlightenment will appear in my life in the future but I don't think I will truly want or even truly be able to find a reason to it;

And it's fine ; just that sometimes I am just curious on why my mind react differently when my emotions are different towards the same action.

Oh well, signing off,

Jingruus

"I realize that the good, the bad and the downright ugly events are all a part of who I've become."

" I was no longer reminded of the struggles I'd faced as a child. I was even embarrassed by some of them. I felt uncomfortable with who I was. There were times when I said and did things that didn't match the child I was deep down . I often felt hurt by the world - and wanted to hurt it back. 

Things are different now. I look back on my memories and embrace everything that happened ; there's a lesson to be learned from ever event.

I realize that the good , the bad and the downright ugly events are all a part of who I've become.

Although some of them may have been painful , they're a blessing - they've taught me so much . My experiences have left me with a drive to find a way out of misery and a path towards a better life. "

- [ Good Vibes, Good Life : How Self-Love is the key to unlocking your greatness] by Vex King

This book is exceptional and this portion of it is something I could relate to .

Its moments like this

That I felt that life is truly short .

Earth exist for more roughly 4.6billion years  - based on www.britannica.com - Geologic history of earth 🌍

But humans life merely could last around 100 years per life time ( and that is provided if the human is very healthy ) 

So many decades and era have passed by and we are living in only a couple of decade of an era.

It's moments like this when I felt that life is truly short, precious and that I will cherish my every breath no matter what.

Regards

Jingruus

99th Post

 Writing in today on the 5th of April 2022 and Blogger.com reminded me that this will be my 99th post.

Thus before I continue , I will like to dedicate a short statement for my past self :

"Dear Past Me, Thank you for being such enduring , hold such strength to pick yourself up from the countless physical and mental abuse for the past years and am really thankful for you for not ending your life. For if it happens, I will not be here doing the things you once set up to do . "

Things have been looking very great recently , excellent actually. Im finally able to be a lil truly happy and greatful of what I have now. I have my dad, and my close friends who support me mentally and heartly. 

As I am writing this 99th post on blogger.com , it reminds me of the 3am post that i wrote previously in the state of mental breakdown , where i am on the venge of breaking down and ending my life. Now that i think back of it , i realise that all i needed atleast was a vent outlet and blogger.com was the outlet for me. 

Everyone have a different way to vent their worries , stress and more but i guess mine is writing a blog haha.

Nonethless , I really want to thanks my Faith for saving me. My dreams about hanging out with my late mum and the dream I had of a future with less discrimination and more humanity.

For today , I am truly happy on where I am now. I will never give my life up for anything. And if there is a next life, i dont mind living through all the traumas i had as it cultivate me to who I am now.

Dear Jingru , I am glad you make it this far and Dear Michelle, fight on little one. Have Faith in the future , I look forward too seeing you again. 

Signing off,

Jingruus

Control

Are We in Control of our own Life ?

Or Our Puppets of our own Emotions pertaining to Judgement and Opinion of Others ?

Tears Hidden Under Smiles.

Truth Hidden Under Lies.

Love Hidden Under Reality.

One Day, I hope , the world , will be, a place with No Condemnation but Acceptance, Love and Faith .

Virus

Gossips are like Virus.

Spread easily and mutate as it past thru each individual and Trust is like Vaccine while Empathy is the Anti-Body.

Even if one have Vaccine, the virus might still attack the body if its immune system doesn't have the anti-body within them. 

Alike to one having the gossip and without trust , the gossip will infiltrate the person mind but if the other party have empathy and understanding then the gossip(aka virus) won't be able to infiltrate the person.

Let's not just stop people from create gossips but instead cultivate people to have anti-body within them aka empathy & understanding . 

Let's create a safe space for humans to live in.

Not Afraid

 Not afraid of Facing my Past.

Not afraid of Making Mistake.

Not afraid of Growing Up.

Not afraid of the Unknown.

Instead,

Am Ready to Embrace my Past.

Learning from Mistake.

Willing to enhance my Knowledge.

Looking Forward to the Future.

Not Afraid of the Light.

Not Afraid of the Crowd.

Not Afraid of the Opinions.

Not Afraid of the Love.

Instead,

Walking out of the Darkness

Walking towards the Ones

Absorbing Comments 

Anticipating Love

- Jingruus

Acceptance

 Acceptance

When I was younger , I was hit with Grief from the lost of my Mum and the series of Traumatic events that followed.

Together with regular trigger of Fear of judgement, I was afraid of being not good enough , not pretty enough, not skinny enough, just not good Enough overall .

Growing up, I was constantly abuse not only mentally but also physically by a family member whom I no longer stay with .

I didn't knew this would cause me to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder later on when I grew up. 

Though out my adolescent, I further faced bullying for my appearance , betrayal from friends whom I thought were trustable and resulted in me having Anorexia & Anxiety when I was just 15. 

As I could no longer handle the tremendous stress but home with a combination of Trauma , I left home to live alone when I was turning 18 and I met friends whom I thought I could trust but they ended up breaking my heart when the trust of mine towards a colleague/friends turned to a physically traumatic event that would haunt my mind forever and that's when I developed an alter ego to help me numb my pain and fight off the negative thoughts I have and also turn to substance abuse as an escape plan.

While juggling school and work at the age of 20, I began to indulge in the world of night life and alcohol and I was just living each day young and reckless with the intent to just die as I felt worthless to the society physically and mentally.

Then covid came and it cleared my mind when I finally decided to seek help from local community after accepting me for whom I am . I decided to no longer be afraid of what I have been through and do what I want the most, to contribute back to society in whatever way I can.

And that is to create a platform to lessen treatment gap and make mental health treatment more assessable.

For years I have been in Denial and the fear of judgment but From now onwards till the Deathbed of mine will I Ever be afraid of anything . Not even Death itself, for if it comes, It comes. We only have one life , so just live it.

To accept your past and trauma is the solution to truly live your life with Hope and Faith.

HFaith