Acceptance

 Acceptance

When I was younger , I was hit with Grief from the lost of my Mum and the series of Traumatic events that followed.

Together with regular trigger of Fear of judgement, I was afraid of being not good enough , not pretty enough, not skinny enough, just not good Enough overall .

Growing up, I was constantly abuse not only mentally but also physically by a family member whom I no longer stay with .

I didn't knew this would cause me to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder later on when I grew up. 

Though out my adolescent, I further faced bullying for my appearance , betrayal from friends whom I thought were trustable and resulted in me having Anorexia & Anxiety when I was just 15. 

As I could no longer handle the tremendous stress but home with a combination of Trauma , I left home to live alone when I was turning 18 and I met friends whom I thought I could trust but they ended up breaking my heart when the trust of mine towards a colleague/friends turned to a physically traumatic event that would haunt my mind forever and that's when I developed an alter ego to help me numb my pain and fight off the negative thoughts I have and also turn to substance abuse as an escape plan.

While juggling school and work at the age of 20, I began to indulge in the world of night life and alcohol and I was just living each day young and reckless with the intent to just die as I felt worthless to the society physically and mentally.

Then covid came and it cleared my mind when I finally decided to seek help from local community after accepting me for whom I am . I decided to no longer be afraid of what I have been through and do what I want the most, to contribute back to society in whatever way I can.

And that is to create a platform to lessen treatment gap and make mental health treatment more assessable.

For years I have been in Denial and the fear of judgment but From now onwards till the Deathbed of mine will I Ever be afraid of anything . Not even Death itself, for if it comes, It comes. We only have one life , so just live it.

To accept your past and trauma is the solution to truly live your life with Hope and Faith.

HFaith