Just for today

Recently I came across a book that resonate with my philosophy a lot and I will share with you some segment of the book that I find especially endearing,

From <How to stop worrying and start living> by Dale Carnegie

Part 4 , Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness.

"... Just For Today

1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. " Happiness is from within: it is not a matter of externals .

2. Just for today I will try to adjust myyself to what is, and not try to adjust to everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

3. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

4. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something ueful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebosy a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only,  not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that wouldd appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.

9. -

10. Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and hhappiness, here is Rule 1 :

Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful."

Ephemeral

( noun ): anything short-lived, as an insect that lives only for a day in its winged form

(adjective) : lasting a very short period of time

Life as far as I have known is Ephermeral to me. Nothing last forever whether good or bad, positive or negative, everything is temporary and EPHERMERAL.

For life do I cherish, but death do I await, It's neither anything terrible nor brilliant, it's fairly just a way of living. 

For moments of sorrow wither like the petals of a rose and what remains is just the stalk that resembles the backbones of human, theoretically. Think upon things in moments of sadness, and you will see life in a different light.

Gratitude is like the water to the soil that help a rose to grow and bloom into its peak so when one has gratitude and appreciate everything that happened in their life, a beautiful blossom thou shall bloom into.

________________________________________________________________________________

(2nd part of this blog)
 

I will talk about Ephemeral in body size LOL ; Growing up with, I have been said by many of my pear-shaped body and tho I wasnt overweight or so, I had my own insecurities so when I found out the existence of Liposuction, I went to do it !

Ofcourse with every aesthetic procedure or surgery comes risk, and after much research, I had entrusted my thighs liposuction with 365MC hospital and wow the treatment and aftercare that they provide is world class IMO ! 

- Jingru, Oct 2023.

Validation

 After years of breathing, i've come to realised that another important thing in life that affects ones mood (atleast for myself) is Validation. 

The validation for recognition, for the goods that one did and the achievements one have. Set aside any other values of life and set aside the things that those that were born with a gold spoon will have, we all have one common need for " validation " one more so than the other depending on their starting point.

For today, I have realised that by internalizing your own version of "validation" and first validate your own achievements and wellbeing will top any other situation because at the end of the day your soul is contained in your body and really at the end of the day, Though you might not be able to control the events of things. 

You can however control how it affects you and in turn how it affects the next course of action you will take,

if you were to read the beginning of my blog post ( when i was 16 or whatsoever ) , you will know that I seek an excessive amount of validation from the outside world and anything and everything else except the validation of my own self.

Fast forward now, I seek validation for what I want to do , to my body, to my soul and to the surroundings that I may or may not have effect on and because of this . I am increasingly experiencing moments of Euphoria without the aid of anything.

Ending off,

Live Life and never ever let Life Live You.

Love,

Jing Ru 

Treasure life and let life treasure you back.

 Grateful for everything that has had happened to me whether good or bad.

Because of all those that happened, it had made me to become who I am today.

And today I am appreciative of every little things that I have.

I rarely blog now because I no longer feel troubled by every little thing that "traumatized' me, 

I am free from it and I can finally felt my soul being alive again.

Love, Quah Jing Ru.

Marcus Aurelius — 'You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.'

 

One of my favourite youtube channel - to clear my mind and in times of doubt - is 

@ Philosophies for Life

And for todays' post , I will be sharing a Quote of the day I got from one of the video that I just watch from their channel. 

It is a quote by Marcus Aurelius —

 'You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.'

Fragile Life

Sometimes I feel that life is so fragile and the universe is so unique.

We are bought to the world similar to the way that we are to be bought back to earth.

Our body are just temporarily host to our indefinite soul and our memory is hosted temporarily by our temporarily body as if our soul were to hold the memories of so many lives , it will be a disaster.

Perspective

Do you believe that once you change your perspective in life, your life changes?

Just a year plus ago , I was living in a very different lifestyle,  a dark place, a time where I lived in neverending toxicity and engage in routine and routine of unhealthy habits consumed with thoughts of just ending my own life and letting my actions take me away from life itself.

But fast forward to now, I am living in a more peaceful environment and striving in ways that I can never imagine and that started when I see life in another different angle, a different perspective.

You see, I used to feel sorry for myself, for all the misfortune that happened to me since I was born, like to passing of my own mother, the abuse that I have sustain during childhood and the neverending series of unfortunate events that follows that lead me into a very very dark place. 

But after I change my perspective and view each life events as a lesson and a blessing instead, my life changed. I started to be grateful for things and categorizing life events as modules learn instead of as things that just happen. This helped me to shift my negative mindset into positive and change my character of victimizing myself to be a learner instead. 

It caused a chain effect thereafter and I see many possibilities lying around. I felt Hope for the first time and started to see a spark of light in the sea of darkness.

For that I am thankful, for all that I have been through in life as it makes me to become Who I am today and am just generally grateful for being alive and upholding whatever I have now.

Along the way of my life journey, I have made some negative decisions and might have hurt some individuals and for that I am willing to apologize as acceptance is a way of moving forward and gratitude is the action that follows.

So Im ending this post with a Sorry and Thank You for whatever life had bought, bring and to happen in the future.

neurosis

Just an hour ago, I came upon a video titled "Why are so Many People Neurotic? – Carl Jung as Therapist" and I have never felt so called out in my opinions of life;

And I got to say, Carl Jung is one of my favourite  psychiatrist and psychoanalyst that have existed in the world and tho he had passed away centuries ago; His legacy and work carry on to influence people of the modern World.

“There are just as many people who become neurotic because they are merely normal, as there are people who are neurotic because they cannot become normal. That it should enter anyone’s head to educate them to normality is a nightmare for the former, because their deepest need is really to be able to lead “abnormal” lives.”  

Carl Jung, Problems of Modern Psychotherapy

 carl jung | Academy of Ideas

How many times do we view certain situations as weird, funny, abnormal and just quirky ? I believe you and me all have that one time where we deem a situation as weird and abnormal. Then who is there to deem what is normality and what is abnomality where each humans are unique in their own way and therefore have their own mindset and perception towards things.

"A neurosis is a psychological disorder defined by persistent and deep levels of anxiety and an overall fear of life. In addition to these cardinal symptoms, a neurotic illness may also include depression, guilt, phobias, obsessions and compulsions, excessive worry and rumination, insomnia, irritability, or anger. Carl Jung suggested that the neurotic’s fear of life was a result of “a disturbed or diminished process of adaptation” (Collected Works Volume 18) and “a morbid development of the whole of a personality” (Collected Works Volume 10). A neurotic, in other words, is an individual who fails to adapt to the demands of life, whose personality is stunted as a result, and whose existence, therefore, becomes a continual struggle with little, to no reprieve. "

-carl jung | Academy of Ideas

That being mention, then who in the world do not have a certain period where neurosis exist; For as long we have a brain and emotion; we will face a rollercoaster ride of emotion in our lifetime and of course periods of Down Downs.

"While a neurosis isn’t necessarily fatal, it slowly but surely saps the vitality out of life. A neurosis destroys our potential, places us in the constricting confines of an ever-shrinking comfort zone, fills us with guilt for a life not lived, wreaks havoc on relationships, inhibits the cultivation of skills, and damages our physical health due to the effects of chronic anxiety and depression on the body. Jung went as far as to call a neurosis “the agony of a human soul in all its vast complexity” (Carl Jung, The State of Psychotherapy Today).  "

-carl jung | Academy of Ideas

Now how many times did you have days where you felt sad, emotionless and where you just want to lock yourself out from the world and be alone in your own little space? Where everything else does not matter except the voices in your head?

And when this situation occur, blockage of reality tend to take place and this will cause further disturbance to our future life;

Thus, accepting our situation and then finding ways to help us get out of the situation is the way to go to get ourself out of the black pit hole and into light ;

Eventually, we will realise that life itself is precious and we are alreadys winners in our life as long as we were born.

From the day we took our first breath, we have actually won in the " Race to the Egg " to be fertilized in our mother's womb and be bought out to the world sucessfully.

I hope whoever that read this know that you are loved and are bought to this world for a reason and hope you live your life to the fullest and be who you are;

But first you have to accept what you have been through and turn experiences into knowledge and motivation to keep on moving in your life.

Regards

Jingruus

it's true

TW: self harm warning *

Just two years ago, I was on my bed, crying silently, writing my wills, swallowing sleeping pills just to unalive myself. 

When the attempt did not succeed , I started to go on a journey on self-destruction , intoxicating myself with alcohol, party and everything bad .

On my path tho, I met people who believed in me and I started to believe in myself that change is possible and living your best life starts from loving yourself .

True enough, after cutting myself out from things I have gotten myself into during my self-destruction period , I found love within myself and realized many abilities that was hidden within myself.

Fast forward to now, I am taking all that I have learnt from my past experience and turn it into strength and knowledge to walk a longer path .

I am thus forever thankful of people whom I met so far, whether be it at any phases of my life; as these people path my way to where I am now ; where I am closer to true self-love and happiness 

I admit that I'm not perfect and have my mistakes but because of that I am human and indefinitely love myself.

Breaking out from a bad cycle

 Believe in yourself and educate yourself and you will then begin to break away from your bad vicious cycle.

You might have heard of the saying " When life gives you Lemon, made a Lemonade from it " ! 

In my opinion, it is equavailant to saying made the best out of what life gives to you . No matter good or bad.

Fall down ? Stand up. Embarassed ? Use it as your motivation . Anger ? Use it to push your own mental state during exercises ; Sadness ? Use it to cry and cry out all your negative emotion! It is good to relief stress now and then to continue walk a longer path. 

Even if your closest one is the one giving you the hardest shit * sry for my english *,  take it with a pinch of salt and know that whatever they do in the end they just want the best for you and your future and so they thought;

I say all this seemingly encouraging words but sometimes is the words that I hear from others especially from my loved ones that wants to end the offspring that they give, myself. 

I just hope and believe that in the future generations, the adults and seniors will be more encouraging in the aspirations the youth and the youngs have.

because sometimes they think that words dont kill but word does. 

But then again I will thought of how lucky we are to be alive, to have a chance to experience life , to be able to breath , speak , listen and just be on earth realms now.

Tho I have the direct oppositing thoughts a couple of years ago due to own experience of growing up in a family situation that was so turbulent and incomplete. I realised that this helped me to grow up even faster and tho more succumb to the darknest at the start; am grateful that I have met people with much empathies that helped me and guide me back to the right path.

For that, It gave me a reason to continue living and for the fact that I am who I am now.

My bad and the good, it makes me human and for that I am , in the lifetime, thankful for it. 

Till the next time,

Jingruus.

Delusional, a word that have been lingering in my mind since forever;

 Delusions; what is that ?

Reality; what is it ?

I love life now, truly but is this life that I love, a Reality or is it just a Delusion ?

I realised our mind is indeed so powerful , a change of perceptions in life could change your physics attribute and your lifestyle totally.

Dream; sometime I frequently mixed up with reality ; TBH, 50% of the time my reality felt like a dream and vice versa, so at times I really don't know am I really living ? OR am I just dreaming ?

I mean , to type out all this words and thoughts right now into my "blog" , is this real ? OR am I dreaming ?

Life is a mystery, so much so like the wonders and infinite questionnaires humans have towards the Universe. Many times I question the current moment too ;

Because dreams felt so much reality and reality felt so much like dream. 

ofcourse , the sayings goes, if you wanna check if you are dreaming or not , pinch yourself right ?

I do that often ; but then I will think of the power of our mind and it's effect on pain ; Perhaps when we pinch ourself in our "Dream" , we will feel pain too bcus we know that's the consequence of pinching ourself and that trigger the pain sensor in our nerves with the help of the signals produced our Brain . hahaha

Well; I love blogging my thoughts because the longer the thoughts stay in my mind ; the heavier my brain get and the darker it will cloud my mind ;

till then ;

Jingruus

Sometimes

A moment of lost is felt, I will dwell back into my dark thoughts where my demons hide and sun never rises;

I will think of the small little things that I have taken for granted but is a blessing in reality; the ability to see, to breath, to taste, to type, to just be alive, itself is a blessings that I am thankful of.

An eternity is not possible but for awhile im glad.

For as long as I'm awake ; I will live life to the fullest and embrace whatever that comes along ;

"I realize that the good, the bad and the downright ugly events are all a part of who I've become."

" I was no longer reminded of the struggles I'd faced as a child. I was even embarrassed by some of them. I felt uncomfortable with who I was. There were times when I said and did things that didn't match the child I was deep down . I often felt hurt by the world - and wanted to hurt it back. 

Things are different now. I look back on my memories and embrace everything that happened ; there's a lesson to be learned from ever event.

I realize that the good , the bad and the downright ugly events are all a part of who I've become.

Although some of them may have been painful , they're a blessing - they've taught me so much . My experiences have left me with a drive to find a way out of misery and a path towards a better life. "

- [ Good Vibes, Good Life : How Self-Love is the key to unlocking your greatness] by Vex King

This book is exceptional and this portion of it is something I could relate to .

Its moments like this

That I felt that life is truly short .

Earth exist for more roughly 4.6billion years  - based on www.britannica.com - Geologic history of earth 🌍

But humans life merely could last around 100 years per life time ( and that is provided if the human is very healthy ) 

So many decades and era have passed by and we are living in only a couple of decade of an era.

It's moments like this when I felt that life is truly short, precious and that I will cherish my every breath no matter what.

Regards

Jingruus

A Life of Dreams & Faith

" Faith, keep it around you now

Keep it around you now, oh

Change, you're gonna see something

You're gonna see something, someday . "

- 《Flashes》 by The Paper Kites

Dreams ignite hope & Faith changes everything.

Just two years ago, I was spiralling into major depression. With dark thoughts lingering every single corner of my mind. Where during the day, I felt like Im in an empty body with a listless soul, where life is not just living but surviving. Where death excites me and living doesn't.

But now, as I am writing at 12:45am , Seoul Time. I feel more serenity and blessed than any other time of my life. Life is short but worth the ride, darkness is temporarily and light will come soon after. 

For everyone that is reading this , I hope you find whatever that ignite the fire in your heart and rekindle your soul. Do anything that brings you joy and love your life , cherish your loved ones.

Live no regrets but stories to tell and memories to bring right to the last moment of your death bed.

Laughter is temporarily but moments live forever.

Regards

Jingru.

Do you

Do You Supress your own grief when you have one or do you let it out ?

Should we be train to help other individuals in time of grief or do we learn when the time comes ?

Through this hectic life, with so many things that are going through in our life , sometimes all we need is serenity and peace before solving any pertaining issue.

Health > Any other issues because without health there is nothing and Health includes Mental and Physical health.

Stay safe and be Kind.

-Love , Jingruus.

Be The Voice , Unspoken.

 Be the one that Speak Up

The one that Speak of the Unspoken

The one that Turn your Weakness into Strength

Only then can we be strong

Only then can we Defeat

Our own Darkness then

Shine light to others . 

Control

Are We in Control of our own Life ?

Or Our Puppets of our own Emotions pertaining to Judgement and Opinion of Others ?

Tears Hidden Under Smiles.

Truth Hidden Under Lies.

Love Hidden Under Reality.

One Day, I hope , the world , will be, a place with No Condemnation but Acceptance, Love and Faith .

2022 World

Grief and Depression.

It's me again with my first blogpost for the Year of 2022.

Always conflicted when I decided to do a blogpost as usually it's when I met some people who are against my Morales , encounter some unfortunate event or just something bad that happen will I ever blog.

General Public mention that there are Four Main Causes of Depression , PTSD & any other mental health illness of course over a certain period of Prolong duration.

There is Traumatic events , Grief ( Death of loved ones etc ), encountering an event that is against your Morale thus losing hope in Humanity / the world in general.

But I feel that Grief is the most powerful one as It will help to Numb the pain of all the other causes. Personally I have encountered all causes ( Traumas to Death of Loved Ones to Encountering event that is against my Morales ) but I always have the motivation to survive on and believe there is still Hope and Faith in Humanity instead of Greed and Money because of one thing ; Life & Death . 

I feel like Grief is the one thing that can help to Mask any of the pain caused by any other events . Not to sound pessimistic but in any way Grief and Death help me to shine another light in my life and kind of guide me to my calling ? 

Anyways I just felt like telling the World to be Happier and more Giving Rather than being Hypocrite and Greedy.

Signing Off,

Jingru.

Billie Ellish - Not My Responsibility

 Do you know me?

Really know me?

You have opinions
About my opinions

About my music
About my clothes

About my body

Some people hate what I wear
Some people praise it
Some people use it to shame others
Some people use it to shame me

But I feel you watching

Always
And nothing I do goes unseen
So while I feel your stares
Your disapproval
Or your sigh of relief
If I lived by them
I'd never be able to move

Would you like me to be smaller, weaker, softer, taller?
Would you like me to be quiet?
Do my shoulders provoke you?
Does my chest?
Am I my stomach? My hips?
The body I was born with
Is it not what you wanted?

If I wear what is comfortable
I am not a woman
If I shed the layers
I'm a slut
Though you've never seen my body
You still judge it
And judge me for it
Why?

We make assumptions about people
Based on their size
We decide who they are
We decide what they're worth
If I wear more
If I wear less
Who decides what that makes me?
What that means?
Is my value based only on your perception?
Or is your opinion of me
Not my responsibility?